


I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This

by Splannin



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Dungeons & Dragons References, Forgotten Realms - Freeform, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 00:28:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22006972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Splannin/pseuds/Splannin
Summary: There's a place and a time for everything. Apparently, no one in this party knows that that means.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	I Can't Believe I Signed Up For This

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SpiritOfWrath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiritOfWrath/gifts).



The situation they were currently in was absolutely ridiculous. In hindsight, it may seem hilarious but to the only sane person in the party, it was not. Go to the volcano to find some rumored lost treasure that belonged to a missing civilization that once inhabited the range of volcanoes, somehow. An easy find, they said.

As interesting as that may seem, Makoto right now was concerned with not dying because their barbarian ran into a cave that was actually the home of a red dragon. Naturally everyone ran after him and discovered the dragon to be, fortunately, asleep. 

She swore to herself, if she wasn’t here then everyone would be dead by now. Though she may die now as her party had the fantastic idea to steal from the red dragon’s stash of treasure. Despite her efforts of protest, she had been dragged along.

Now she was sneakily shuffling along the edges of the volcanic base, the smell of sulfur and smoke filling her senses. “Why are we doing this?” 

“Nothing wrong with gold,” Yusuke whispered back to her. “Although the sleeping dragon being right next to our goal serves as a problem.”

“You think!?” she snapped back. “If I was going to die, I wouldn’t want it to be dying because my friends don’t know how to resist stealing everything they see!”

Haru poked out from behind Makoto’s shoulder. “On the bright side, we’ll die together!” 

“Quiet, you’ll wake up the dragon!” Futaba half-yelled at them.

“I’m pretty sure that sneaking next to a dragon to steal its gold would _also_ wake it up,” Akechi pointed out.

“Shhh! Stop talking, we’re close,” Morgana chastised them.

Indeed they were, after going through a giant cavern and scaling around pools of lava they almost fell in, Makoto could see the shimmering of the giant pile of gold. As well as the dragon that could wake up any moment now due to her companions' lack of volume control.

"How much can we take?" Ryuji inquired, surprisingly quietly.

Akira peered over the wall and glanced. "Probably only the little things. Everything else would cause too much noise."

Ryuji let out a noise of disappointment. "And here I was hopin' I could get somethin' nice."

"You could still buy a lot even with a little," Akechi said.

Ryuji waved him off. "Yeah but I wanted something juicy, ya know?"

"All the food I could buy with only a bag of those coins…." Yusuke whispered in awe.

Makoto started to walk ahead. "We should probably move in now, the faster the better."

They made their way over. Carefully avoiding pebbles to trip on, they circled around the dragon and reached its treasured mounts of gold that it took its slumber next to.

They all new the dragon's collection was bountiful but they didn't expect it to tower over them and be as big as the red dragon.

Ryuji's mouth gaped open. "HOLY SHIT THA-"

Makoto and Yusuke covered his mouth. They looked back at the dragon and saw it stir slightly, then its eyes started to flicker. 

"GODDAMMIT RYUJI!" Futaba yelled and immediately covered her mouth.

Ann's eyes widened. "Futaba!' 

The dragon then started to rise from its slumber and the thieves managed to scramble behind the treasure. The dragon stomps, its whole body moving with its head as it searches for the cause of the noise.

The thieves almost fainted out of shock. Their bodies piled onto each other and panted, all of the air in their lungs immediately escaped their body everytime the dragon moved.

"We're going to die," Morgana deadpanned.

Yusuke's head dropped down in shame. "And I was hoping to eat at that restaurant only aristocrats go to." His fists clenched. "Guess I'll never taste the sweetness that is of eating rich."

Haru's face fell. "I could've taken you there."

"I needed to get there through my own merit or else my pride would be destroyed."

"I think now is not the time for a dramatic monologue." Akechi gestured to the dragon. "We need to either kill that or escape."

"Or seduce it," Akira offered.

"Yes, that too." Akechi paused and turned. "Wait…."

Makoto blinked. "I'm sorry what?"

"I said I can seduce it," he repeated.

"What? H-how? Why?" Ann stammered. "Akira, that is a red dragon."

"I know," he simply stated, with the blankest face in existence if not for the growing smirk on him. "I can distract it with my delicious body while everyone gathers the treasure and runs."

"Delicious body…." Morgana quoted. "At least only you'll die."

"Dude, I know I always joked about you being a monster-fucker." Ryuji breathes in. "...But this is going too far man."

"Do you think if we kill the dragon it'll taste good?" Haru suddenly questions. "Its not very common to eat so…."

Yusuke hums. "We could sell its skin or make it into armor. And we could sell the meat at a high price and take some for ourselves. Yes, this sounds promising…." he mumbled to himself. 

"This is a red dragon, you will die!" Futaba shook her head. "I can't believe this is going to happen."

"Says the one who broke into the royal palace to steal books," Ryuji coughed out. 

"Hey! Those contained classified information we couldn't get otherwise!" she said defensively, not that it made it any better. The only reason why she got out was because the princess thought she was a child and dressed her up like a doll until the next day. 

"I'm going in," Akira announced. He brought out his lute and strummed it. "Time to show a dragon my _assets_." He charged out before anyone could grab him.

Ann buried her face in her hands. "Should we go after him?"

Akechi already started to stuff gold into his bag. "He's chopped liver now." 

"I'll go help him, I'm the fastest one here," Makoto sighed. 

"Good luck!" Haru waved cheerfully at her. Makoto waved back at her before she sprinted towards Akira who was dancing at the dragon's feet while singing tunes of seduction he learned from demons.

**Author's Note:**

> To my friend, Spirit! I had you for the Secret Santa in our Discord server!


End file.
